I'm not the only Star Trek fan in the family. Today's post comes from my husband, Scott:
"While I might trust the doctor to remove a splinter or
lance a boil, I do not believe he has the knowledge to restore a brain."
– Mr. Spock
When you live and work in a five hundred square foot
apartment with someone who is having her Year of Star Trek, it’s your year of
Star Trek, too. I’m not watching every episode but I have seen quite a few,
including 3.1, the infamous, “Spock’s Brain.”
If you’re unfamiliar with what many consider the worst Trek
episode ever, allow me to educate you. It concerns a race of devolved super geniuses
who steal Mr. Spock’s brain right out of his skull so they can use it as a
living computer. The good news is, Vulcan physiology allows Spock’s body to run
sans gray matter for a day or so. This gives Kirk and McCoy the time to go
after those dirty, rotten scoundrels and retrieve the brain. The bad news is,
once they have the thing, Dr. McCoy lacks the medical knowledge to hook it back
up properly. He gets the speech center plumbing reattached, though, so Spock
can talk him through the rest of the operation. You read that right. Mr. Spock
tells Dr. McCoy how to reattach his brain. Yeah, it’s pretty silly. It’s also,
by far, the most important thing I ever saw on television.
“Spock’s Brain” is the first Star Trek episode I paid
attention to. I was five years old. It was a Sunday afternoon and there, on our
television set, was a man telling another man how to put his brain back in his
skull. I was repulsed. I was fascinated. I couldn’t turn away. This image was
burned into my own brain forever:
The Big Idea, that thing that sci-fi in general and Trek in
particular does so well, grabbed me and wouldn’t let go. A stolen brain running
a computer. That same brain being hooked back up with the help of the man
undergoing the surgery. I was hooked. From that moment on, I was a Star Trek
fan.
Fastforward quite a few years. I’m talking with a girl to
which I’m extremely attracted. I’m sure it’s all physical, though. I suspect
that we don’t have enough in common to build a relationship. Then, somehow, the
subject of Star Trek comes up. Turns out, she’s a Trekker, too. We talk all
night. I hate the term, “soulmate,” but she’s mine. It’s the most succinct way
to describe our compatibility.
Fastforward a few more years. That girl and I are happily
married and living across the country. My Star Trek fandom led to a desire to
make television myself. It’s a tough business to break into but, finally, my
pursuit of a career as a screenwriter is bearing fruit. I’m on the set as the
first episode of a television show I wrote is being shot. Where? Paramount, the
studio at which Star Trek was made. Then I look at the plaques outside the
soundstages upon which I’m working. They list everything ever shot in these buildings. It turns out that Star Trek was filmed on
the exact same stages. I take photos to email home to my perfect wife. It was a
magical moment.
I understand why people mock “Spock’s Brain.” At one point,
McCoy is driving Spock’s de-brained body around like a remote control robot.
Things get a little silly. I forgive you if you want to laugh at it or even
call it the worst ever. But, when you watch episode 3.1 of the original series,
do me the same courtesy. For just a minute, try to see it though my eyes. Take
a moment to appreciate the mad and beautiful idea at its core. Something so
strange and arresting that it could burn itself into my five year old mind and
set off a chain reaction that continues to this day. “Spock’s Brain” didn’t
just change my life, it made my life.
hot dang, guest post! this is outstanding. kudos to both of you nerds.
ReplyDeleteGreat post, Scott and AshleyRose! Absolutely wonderful! And now, the kid in me who used to watch surgeries on the Discovery Channel wants to go watch this as soon as I get home from work.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite comment about "Spock's Brain" comes from "The Nitpicker's Guide to Original Trek," who notes that Spock undergoes major cranial surgery TWICE in this episode, but not one single hair is out of place -- do Vulcans have flip-top heads?
ReplyDeleteAlso, I think that it is very sweet (and perfectly understandable) that you refer to your "perfect wife." The thing is, *I* have the perfect wife!
In "The Man With Two Brains" Steve Martin's character invents the Cranial Screwtop Method" of surgery. He literally screws off the top of the head for gray matter access and then screws it right back on at the end, leaving everything looking exactly as before. I like to think that TMWTB exists in the same reality as TOS. Both McCoy and the aliens used the method Martin pioneered. It might be a stretch, but it's in no way sillier than the rest of the episode (and I mean that in a good way.)
ReplyDeleteI'll have to check out "The Nitpicker's Guide to Original Trek." It sounds like fun!