And that brings me to the Star Trek side of all of this. Star Trek is a show without irony and that's something I love about it. It's about good people trying to do the right thing all the time. They have a tendency to not play practical jokes because, you know, it's the future and they're all beyond that. Except for one thing. One massive, gigantic, crazy prank which all of Starfleet Command is in on:
The Kobayashi Maru.
The Kobayashi Maru is a simulation designed to test the cadets in the command track at Starfleet Academy. It's a hard test. A really hard test. Actually, an impossible test. You get in there, you get your crew of other, exemplary cadets together and you try your very best to rescue the crew aboard a doomed starship named the Kobayashi Maru. You fire photon torpedos. You beam the crewmen over to your ship. You turn tail and run, leaving the marooned ship behind. You could try different maneuvers all day long but it won't change anything. You're still going to lose. That's because the Kobayashi Maru is actually testing your reaction to the "un-winnable scenario."
I know it's supposed to be a high-minded, super-smart way to test cadets under pressure but it just seems to me (and Kirk) like a jerk thing to do. Whatever. That's why me and Sailor Mercury would be in the science track instead of command.
Aw, I love practical jokes!
ReplyDeleteBut I do think the Kobayashi Maru is mean.
I love practical jokes when they're perpetrated by the Weasley twins. Does that count?
DeleteI would actually love to be punked by the Weasley twins. But mostly, my name is Amy and I hate practical jokes, too. Some guy friends of mine in college started singing happy birthday to me in the cafeteria one day as a joke - my birthday is in summer, so not while in school - and then somehow it escalated and they made a quick banner and hung it from the balcony in the cafeteria and had the entire room singing to me. At the time, I ran and hid. Now, it's kind of funny.
DeleteThis is not a practical joke: I nominated you for a blog award. See my latest post at addledliving.com for the details, if you're so inclined.
Dislike practical jokes, too. And totally dig that Kirk scene.
ReplyDeleteAgreed! I thought about trying to find one of him eating an apple but ended up just opting for the chair.
Deletei think the thing that bothers me most about the kobayashi maru is that they keep saying it's a test. where's your friggin' rubric then, starfleet? how do you "pass"? for that matter, how do you fail? i'm thinking if i had to take the kobayashi maru, i'd end by grabbing the hottest cadet on the simulated deck and frenching the shit out of him/her, then yelling "i regret nothing!" that's a pass, right? yeah, i'd totally pass.
ReplyDeleteYes! That sounds like a passing grade to me! You make a good point about rubrics though. I find myself really questioning Starfleet's academic standards and practices. I suppose they'd try to pass this one off as experiential learning?
DeleteAshley Rose, I used to play a game on my Commodore 64 called "The Kobayashi Alternative." The idea was that Kirk was given a new test to "playtest" as the Kobayashi Maru was outdated. It was a text adventure that put you in the role of Kirk, and you had to travel to about a dozen different planets to solve. Super hard, and I remember there was one day I beamed the whole crew down to the planet and no one was left on the Enterprise to beam us back up! Never won it, even with a cheat guide.
ReplyDeleteI also played the vastly superior Promethean Prophecy. Highly recommend to you.
-Larry
Larry, this strangely reminded me of a Barbie game that I used to play on my Commodore 64. Basically, Ken would call up Barbie for a date to the ball/play tennis/go skating/etc and you spent the game driving (read: side scrolling) through town, buying the appropriate attire. When Barbie got back home, Ken would call to cancel/reschedule. It was an endless loop of dates that never happened so, getting ready for such a thing became the "unwinnable scenario."
DeleteI HATE practical jokes! Absolutely despise them! Glad I'm not alone!
ReplyDelete