TNG: Rascals

Today I watched TNG: Rascals. If you're unfamiliar with this one, an away team (including Picard, Ro, Guinan, and Keiko) returns to the ship having transformed into children. They still have their adult brains complete with adult knowledge and memories--they're all just stuck as their twelve-year-old selves. While this episode is kind of a romp with charm to spare, I find it distinctly alarming.

You couldn't pay me to be a kid again. I hated it. This seems a little counterintuitive since I spend most of my adult life watching SciFi and playing video games while wearing comic book shirts. But I never think of the way I live as being like a kid--I just think of it as being like me. When I was a kid it was pretty much the same way. I never had a bedtime. I ate pretty much whatever I wanted. I did or didn't do my homework--no big deal. So why does the idea of being a child make me so squirmy?

I think it's because, even though I had a lot of power over the small things in my life, I had no control over the larger issues. No kid does. And, as a kid, I was acutely aware of that. My parents were divorced and lived three-hundred miles apart. They had financial trouble, boyfriend/girlfriend trouble, new-marriage trouble, new-divorce trouble and new kids in turn. These circumstances meant that, for much of my life, I criss-crossed Appalachia to move in with one or the other of them for some undetermined period of time. I dragged a battered suitcase behind me and showed up to new schools with new kids and a new life every time. I never had any idea how long I'd be there so these periods felt (and were) temporary. I was always at the mercy of grownups and I couldn't wait to have control over the big decisions in my life. As a child, I made silent promises to myself saying, "Someday you will choose your own path. No one will be in charge of you. No one can determine your life but you."

It turned out pretty well. As an adult I took charge of my life and this blog (which I'm pretty proud of) is just one of the products of that action. So, when I go back and watch my TV friends roam around the Enterprise in their miniature outfits, looking awkward while they thwart a bunch of Ferengis, all I can think about is how glad I am that no one can turn me into a kid again.